My Problem with Pinterest

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last two years, you’ve probably at least heard of Pinterest, if not spent countless hours on the site aimlessly perusing.  I could spend days on there looking at clothes that I covet, rooms that I want to recreate, food that I crave, and crafts that I want to try. So what’s the problem?

Well #1 I see pictures of crafts that I think I want to try. And actually first let me clarify something. “Crafts” makes me think of the things that I have my Sunday school class make out of clothespins, pipe cleaners, elbow macaroni and popsicle sticks. These “crafts” that are on Pinterest are actually of a different variety. These are high designer craft mastery. For example a few months back I saw these cool wall hangings all over Pinterest. Well believe it or not, when I clicked on the picture, these wall hangings, that sell in similar versions at home stores for upwards of $50, were made out of old toilet paper rolls that were cut up, spray painted black and glued together to look like wrought iron. Well Holy Smokes! That’s awesome and right up my alley. I love cheap décor and creating things. Again, so what’s the problem? Well the people who made these must have had the patience of a saint and they most definitely did not have 3 energetic kids running around or pretty much didn’t do anything else but glue toilet paper rolls together for a week. And they make it sound like they tried once and BAM! they have a beautiful 4’ flower that stops everyone in their tracks the moment they see it. Well, unless they are some sort of toilet paper roll ninja, I have to argue that their pictures are not their first attempt at this. Despite the fact I don't actually need or want a toilet paper roll wall hanging, I collected toilet paper rolls, spray painted them black, cut them up into 1 inch pieces but alas I had a mess of gluey, black little pieces or cardboard and nothing that resembled a faux wrought iron wall hanging.  

#2 Along the same lines as #1, but if I follow your directions to a “t” and your picture looks like this

then why does mine look like this? 

Why do my apple balls still have a flat edge? Do you want to know why? Because no matter how many times I tried I could not get a full, round, ball-period. This is what an unphotoshopped mini apple caramel ball looks like. The truth is the caramel icecream topping drips, the peanuts don’t stick and THE BALLS ARE NOT ROUND!

#3 And this ties me back into #1 as well. I used to think I was crafty. I once made my Mom a holder for tampons from an oatmeal container. I have made scarves, ornaments, cards, scrapbooks and candle holders. But these things that used to pass muster in the world of creativity, do so no longer. The crafts that I can make belong at some country art folk festival up in the mountains of Western Maryland while the stuff on Pinterest could be seen in designer homes and art galleries in the most posh cities in the country.

#4 Thriftiness- I get excited when pins claim to have a thrifty solution for something or a thrifty way to make something. And I love the idea of soda can tabs on a hanger to add an extra place to hang another piece of clothing, but most of these pins are not actually "thrifty." Note: It is not actually thrifty to make these things unless you have a space in your home that resembles Hobby Lobby where you stockpile all your craft making supplies. That's right, I do not have an endless supply of blank canvases, every size of every letter of the alphabet in wood and cardboard, paper lanterns, 20 old men’s shirts, 50 wood pallets, 100 extra mason jars or 1,000,000 buttons.

#5 Ninjas. My last problem is that I could spend hours on Pinterest. But if I spend hours on Pinterest looking, that is hours I am spending not creating the things I see on Pinterest. So my observation is this: the people that have time to make bolts into bracelets, 

 

frumpy t-shirts into cute boutique-worthy dresses,

Canvas art with Elmer’s glue

wall décor from toilet paper rolls

and anything and everything you could imagine out of a wood pallet

are not the same people that spend hours on Pinterest looking at these things. Right now I am reading “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. It is about her yearlong quest to find happiness by examining and making “improvements” in 12 different realms of her life. Well, she is annoyingly like the Pinterest ninjas. I would be happier too if I had 58 hours in a day to explore the history of happiness, write a book, lead a half dozen book clubs, host weekly dinner parties, catch up with every old friend I had since elementary school and all the while still feed and take care of my family. Similary, if I wanted people to think I was crafty and wanted them to repin my creations, I would need an equal amount of time to come up with the idea and then actually turn my old “Johnson’s and Johnson’s” soap bottles into holders for my cell phone while it charges. So clearly Gretchen Rubin and the Pinterest ninjas do not actually spend hours on Pinterest like the rest of us normal folk.

And what’s up with people repining this. Really?

And yes I know I sound like a hater, and I may be slighty jealous of ninja craftiness but really I might just be upset I didn’t think of this in college.